I Need Balls (The Kind That Hang Inside a Scrotum)

Reality check: My balls aren’t as big as I thought they were. I’ve always felt that I could conquer the world and pwn everyone’s faces if I wanted to but now I’m seriously doubting my skills. Starting Monday, I’d have to deal with and prove myself to some of the industry’s biggest names and I swear to God my testicles are now in my throat- and wtf, did I mention I’m a tranny girl?

Orayt, let me explain. Do you know how it feels to want something so bad for a long time and the moment it’s given to you, you suddenly want to chop it into little pieces, fry and eat it and then poop it out the window? Well, I’m having such a dilemma. I want to do it, holy fuck I do. My boss is right. This gig will put my name on the map BUT. THE. PRESSURE’S. GIVING. ME. A. NERVOUS. BREAKDOWN. KTHNXBI. Thinking about it makes me vomit inside my mouth, to be honest.

Why can’t I just be a Spice Girl instead? Hell, I’ve always wanted to be one anyway. How hard can it be to be all cute/slutty while singing badly about boa feathers and giant cotton candies and dancing in your platform shoes?! I mean, I already got a name, FunnySexy Spice! I’d just have a tattoo, be a UN ambassador, get knocked up by Eddie Murphy and marry Beckham then I’m all set.

Or maybe become a Bioman. That’s right. I’d quit my job and just be a Bioman instead. Wait. I’ll save my “Bioman-Shaider-Takeshi-and-his-Castle-were-my-childhood-heroes” stories for another entry. Because Balls =/= Sentai.

Oh, sorry. I digress. -_-”

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE MY JOB. I’m one of the privileged few who go to the office (after lunch and leave before 5pm) with a smile and get paid measly doing what they love . But dear heavens I am only 22 you can’t blame me if I’m scared to do this I don’t want to fail I don’t want to let people down holy sheet I don’t want to be eaten alive just in case I die doing this Ninomiya I love you and Karen I stole that magic pen your boyfriend gave you back in college someone help me I’m excited but don’t know what to do either I’m hungry there’s ghei dancing on my TV!!!!!!!!!!! *insert hysterics here*

Bottomline is, I’m gonna need balls for this. Huge ones. Lots of ‘em. I’m willing to rent, if necessary. In the mean time, while I’m still a big blob of scared, I’m gonna face the clients with my head up high and pretend I didn’t pee in my pants.

Wish me luck, my friends. Wish me luck… Tomorrow’s the last day I’ll be a kid.

PS: This is rather interesting… I wonder who’ll replace The Blanco. -edit- it’s 24/25.
PPS: I used to manipulate my skins when I was on blogger but I can’t seem to do that now on wordpress. I’d like to add a shoutbox and other bloggy things on my sidebar but I don’t� know how. Please help and make me unstupid.
PPPS: I’m a week delayed. I like to over share.

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