Subscribe to my blog
|
|
I think it’s common knowledge among my peers that I am a Japanophile. Others may consider me an otaku (in its loose sense, maybe) but I swear, you could rummage through my stuff and you won’t find any hint of anime there. Okay fine, I got Love Hina but that’s Reya’s. And I have a stack of Japanese magazines, which I can’t, for the love of God read but I bought for the sole purpose of ogling anorexic, half-nekkid, androgynous boys! And sure, I have doramas, movies and whatnot and am currently listening to Salyu’s Tobenai Tsubasa but do these make me an otaku?
Anyway, people have asked me why I like the country. I’m not sure, really. Maybe I’m fascinated with the culture, with the people and maybe, just maybe, with their crack ‘coz we all know nothing beats Chepeneez crack. Hence, this entry and my little list.
1. The Utamaro Festival
Where else in the world can you find a GIANT PINK PENIS being paraded in the streets? Man, and I thought our Parada ng Lechon (Roasted Pork Parade) was winner enough. Forget subliminal phallic symbols, this is the real deal. The huge, erect manhood is in fact being carried around by transvestites and random candies in the shape of peens and bargynas are given away to the children. No shit. The festival apparently dates back to 200 years but I have forgotten what the hell it is for or even why the “statue” has to be pink. I want a miniature version though, as paper weight for my office desk. Anyone?
2. Kogal/Ganguro/Yamanba
They do get a lot of flak for their appearance and behavior but you gotta give props to these girls (and believe it or not, guys) for pulling off a look more bizarre than Boy George’s uhh… persona. They are a subculture. They waste their money and wtf they even have time to put that much make-up on when I can barely comb my hair.
Same as they may seem, they are actually of different categories. Kogal (left) are similar to Valley Girls and they even have their own lingo (just like OMG LIKE OMG it’s Paris or something like whatevuuurrr!). They’re blonde, tanned and skinny and enjoy really really expensive designer goods, which mind-boggles me as they don’t seem to have jobs. Well, at least they still look rather normal to me compared to…
Ganguro (center). They have taken it to another level and use glittery make-up to highlight their dark skin. Oh, let me not forget the cheap stickers they put on their faces for added effect. No dear, looking like an African in platform shoes, rainbow outfit and alien hair doesn’t suit you very well. The extreme cases of Ganguro are called…
Yamanba (right), which is derived from Yama-uba, the name of a mountain hag in Japanese folklore. Er… yeah. Why am I not surprised?
The three, however, are similar in that 1) they are materialistic 2) they wear weird-ass clothes and 3) you wouldn’t want them to be your employee or mother. But you can’t deny though that they make the Olsen twins look underdressed.
3. Game Shows
Seriously. If you have not seen a Japanese game/variety show then clearly, you are trapped in 1996 and haven’t heard of YouTube yet. I don’t think I’d ever see the day when I’d watch a local TV channel and see guys getting crotch-slapped if they don’t get the answer right. Or something as random as Human Tetris and even people trying to stay quiet inside a library but failing miserably. I thought the toilet prank was hilarious but this was… *speechless*.
I grew up watching Takeshi’s castle and assumed I was used to their madness. Boy, was i wrong! Just search for Japanese game shows on YT and be happy we have Wowowee.
4. Ofuro de Kogao
Means “small face in the bath”, which is worn in your restroom and is supposed to make your face smaller. I am compelled to ask “WHY?!” but I’m more bothered by the fact that it looks more like an S&M prop to me. Like something Hannibal Lecter would wear. Dude, love the Japanese and their awesome inventions.
5. Hard Gay (Foooo! *insert pelvic thrusting here with Livin’ La Vida Loca as background music*)
He’s also known as Razor Ramon Sumitani. A wrestler turned comedian and has since become an icon. He has show, a single, and even his own TOMY action figure. He is actually allowed to roam the streets in his infamous leather hot pants/vest AND get to save people’s lives. I mean, if Ricky Martin calls his moves as shaking his bon-bon, then what the hell do we call HG’s uhm, trademark crotch dance?
On my first interview, I showed my boss some HG videos. I was hired immediately.
Okay, this is just part 1. I have more in store ‘coz Japan’s cool like that. Again, I am not an otaku and I may or may not be at MOA this Saturday for the J-culture event.
ps: -_- It took me almost two days to finish this post. Fail
pps: I’m suddenly hungry. I want sushi.
ppps: FEEL FREE TO LINK ME IN YOUR BLOG (or just tell me if you wanna exchange links) as my lack of viewership makes me sad face. It’s like having a show and getting poor ratings. So that’s why the feeling is familiar! Harhar!
|
Loading ...
|
|
August 9th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
i actually have a lollipop in the shape of pink penis that my friend brought back for me from the festival during her time in japan. that there pretty much sum up what our friendship is like.
i refuse to lick the candy and eat it. i now have lost track of said penis candy. am a little sad about that.
human tetris= the awesome.
Japan to me is one screwy country and i said that with some respect and a lot of confusion.
ryo stripped for uchi! you need pics?
August 9th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Ganguro girls freak me out, ever since I sw some old K8 tv show eps with them in it. I’m super excited though, because I am totally going to the super happy phallus festival when I am in Japan and getting my pic taken with a giant penis. I’m also really looking forward the the game shows. And my 15 year old cousin also loves hard gay. Thinks he’s funny as hell. Oh, and I wish you could come to Philadelphia some time because there is a store there called Condom Kingdom, which is like going to the phallus festival. My friend and I bought a gift of macaroni and cheese with penis shaped noodles for one of friends when we were therea few days ago. And their mascot is a cute little cartoon sperm.
August 10th, 2007 at 12:02 am
OMG, Kring. awesome.
HAHAHA.
Yes, HG is so disturbing, he looks so cool. I love their game shows. But hopefully, local Tv won’t try to adapt it. Though I don’t think MTRCB will actually allow it anyway.
August 10th, 2007 at 5:29 am
I always wondered if Razor Ramon was the wrestler that I grew up watching in the US. Does anyone know what he looked like before he was Hard Gay? Please enlighten me.
For real, when is the penis festival? I want to go while I’m in Japan. XD
August 10th, 2007 at 10:09 am
@ Rossi
What a waste. If you didn’t lick and eat it, you should’ve just uhhh… taken a picture with it and pwn everyone with the awesome. I saw some pics (well, more like 2) at the kanjani8 comm but if you have more then YES! i want. FANCAM ME WANT!!!
@ Darla
Oh gawd, I know what you’re talking about! I saw them on some mag/show before I even got into Japan and have always thought it was a social problem or sth. Wow, Condom Kingdom. I’ve always been fascinated with weird-shaped condoms coz really, how the hell do you “work” with that?
@ Nerie
BUT NOOOOO!! If no one will adopt it on national TV, I will ! Hehehe. I have a few comments about MTRCB, which I would just keep to myself as I’m afraid it may backlash, yanno…
@ Luna
No, dear. HG kinda copied razor ramon’s name but he hasn’t been sued or anything. Isn’t RR white coz HG’s Jap?
I’m not entirely sure but I want to know, too!! FTW!
August 10th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
WHOA! PENIS!
August 10th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
HAADO! GAY FOOOOOO~
I bought a few of those Pink Penor Candies and gave them to my female friends back in high school.
I lose more dates that way..
PS. I linked ya, my mates will have a hoot reading this stuff.
August 11th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
@ Ade
Penis it is, indeed. WORSHIP. NOW.
@ RJ
That’s so nice of you! Thanks! And thanks, too for dropping by my blog. Yanno, wut? I’d link you, too! Coz I may nopt be a fan of comics but the word orgasm makes me all giddy inside. ^_^
August 12th, 2007 at 1:12 am
Thanks! Comics and Orgasms are the two greatest things in the world after all.
August 13th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Must… look… away… from… peni– wait, is that dick PINK?! LOLZ WHAT A GHEY!!11
August 13th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
uy kring!
heheh hard gay, gotta love him FFUUUUUUUU!!!!!
ey i wasn’t able to text you last saturday at the MOA yoshinoya jap thingy, you should have seen me in that white and blue summer kimono (yukata)
the gigantic pink “tool” looks disturbing ~_~
August 13th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
@ Kirby
Believe me, we were there… But things turned out weird and we ended up not watching the fashion show. Uhm, yeah. But we saw the kids’ dansu dansu!!! \:D/
It does. But that’s why it’s Japanese.
August 16th, 2007 at 2:36 am
Hard gay is teh awesome
August 18th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
I asked my dad…because he was a wrestler and he gave me the information. RR, aka, Scott Hall is actually not the same. He has darker skin and is HUGE. My dad told me height and weight. Yeah. WTF, not even close. Oh, and Scott Hall is almost 50. D:
I’ve been educated.
August 18th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
@ Jaywalker
HE IS!!
@ Jessiluna
O_o Not only is your dad “the fireman” (yups, I remember that), he was a wrestler, too. And I believe this Scott Hall person speaks English…
August 23rd, 2007 at 3:39 am
Yep! My dad, er, got around. Scott Hall does speak English. I never really thought it through I just realized that they had the same name. ~.~()