We’ve all read those inspirational write-ups about how the best things in life are free and because I have no concept of originality whatsoever, I made my own list.

Present-o, The Best Things in Life are Free, Funny+Sexy version!!!

1. Going home late at night from a long day of work (and a little night-out) and snuggling beside your mom on your parents’ bed- though she’d most likely ask why you reek of smoke and liquor, which will force you to leap out and head straight to the shower.

2. Flying a kite on a windy Sunday afternoon with your nephews and nieces. Then pasting your evil boss’s picture on it just before the sun sets and deliberately entangling it with the Meralco wires till it bursts into flames.

3. When in school you have a really really bad case of diarrhea and you don’t want to poop in your building’s C.R.’s (because duh, it’s embarrassing!) and you manage to sneak into the gradeschoolers’ washrooms AND THEN you realize that you put the napkin in your pocket after you had lunch at KFC. Priceless.

4. You’re one peso short of jeepney fare then you notice that the person beside you was a random classmate in Calculus class whose name you don’t remember but you talk to her nevertheless and out of courtesy (or reflex), she offers to pay for your ride! Woooot!

5. Eating moist white rice fresh from the rice cooker. Technically, it isn’t free because your parents have to buy ‘em but who cares? If steaming rice can run for president, I’d surely vote for it in a heartbeat.

6. Staring at the pretty stars in the sky at night with a special someone and making out a constellation in the shape of a limp penis.

7. Not being able to study for an exam (because gaddemmet, admit it. You just can’t let go of a Heroes marathon!) and finding out the next day that your professor’s confined in the hospital for “appendicitis”.

8. Going to the supermarket for a quick grocery and seeing the pseudo-actress you loathe, wearing no make-up and looking like total crap.

9. Still being best friends with someone you loved unrequitedly for 5 years, even after a less-than-perfect confession and an eventually heartfelt conversation about your relationship. Nothing gets better than a real life Joey-Dawson love story.

Yes, it had to end with my embarrassingly cheesy take on love. Sue me. Those are my top 9, what’s you 10th?