Horoscope by Madam FunnySexy

Since I’m staying over at the office tonight and need to work, my Trinoma Blogger Food Tour thingy sum’in sum’in post would have to wait until like… Sunday night. But I really do want to write an entry so here, your horoscope for this week/month/year (I haven’t really decided yet), courtesy of ME. Because I’ve been kinda getting those “vibes” lately.

Aries (Mar 21- Apr 19) – You will lose 20 kgs. You will be malnourished.

Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) – You’ve been lied to for a long time. You belong to the other gender.

Gemini (May 21- Jun 20) – If you fart in a crowded elevator, admit it was you.

Cancer (Jun 21- July 22) – The person you bullied as a kid has grown up to be a hot, rich model. Eat shit.

Leo (Jul 23- Aug 22) – This will be your time to shine. Get ready with A LOT of oil paper.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22) – A part in a porn musical awaits you. Go audition.

Libra (Sep 23- Oct 22) – Keep your lottery tickets. You’ll run out of toilet paper.

Scorpio (Oct 23- Nov 21) – Keep off the grass.

Saguitarius (Nov 22- Dec 21) – Herpes is not cool so stop spreading it, you idiot!

Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19) – The answer to your problems is a bag of potato chips. Stay off the color purple for a while. It attracts frogs.

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) – Underwear will be very unlucky for you. Get rid of ‘em.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) – Dress up in drag on the next full moon and go to your C.R. The face of your future spouse will appear/reflect on the toilet water.

Personally, I’m Cancerian, hence I’m actually eating a piece of crap right now. Also, watch out for direk Coy‘s video of me and the gang. No, really. I think I should stop acting like a fuckin’ retard for once. >_<

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