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“Don’t you have any suitors or a boyfriend, maybe?”, randomly asked my dad as he was driving me to the MRT station a few days ago. I nearly accidentally stabbed my eye with my mascara brush and to say that I was taken aback by his statement is an understatement.
I’m pretty close with my parents and we do talk a lot but topics like their sex life and my issues with love remain to be undiscussed (thank gawd). So yeah, I basically just answered him with a flamboyant “OMG NO I HAVE NONE KTHNXBI!”
“Why?”
I did see a hint of repressed chuckle when he said that.
“I don’t know why! You ask them guys, not me!”
“Naku anak, you’re not getting any younger ha…”
I swear to the heavens that I flipped and flailed inside the car and even did triple cartwheels with a split at the end. I could not believe my ears! Did my dad just insinuate that I start copulating having relationships with people or the hour glass would die on me?
“Well, it’s not like I don’t go out ‘coz as you probably noticed by the fact that I go home at 2 am in the morning almost everyday that I date. I do date guys. Yanno, get to now some people. But suitors? Nah. Oh wait. There was one earlier this year…”
“And?”
“He’s a friend’s friend and I just see him as a friend! I think you’ve met him before already. Plus dad, I have my standards, okay? I won’t just hook up with anyone, puhleez.”
“You’re too choosy, huh? Most girls like that end up old maids.”, he replied with a smirk.
At that point I was thinking of going down and just taking a tricycle all the way to EDSA. The moment seemed so surreal.
“So what do you want me to do? Do you have anyone to recommend or introduce to me? A student of yours, perhaps? Or someone from Binondo?”
He was silent for a while.
“I was thinking of Andy,” he said matter-of-factly “he’s a doctor. Nice guy. But he’s already 44.”
I kinda repeatedly banged my head on the windshield when he said that. I didn’t mean someone who was his student in 1983! That Andy guy (Chinese, in fact) used to visit our house during fiestas and such when I was like 2 years old. Uhm. No. No offense meant, though.
I’m not sure how that convo/topic ended but it sure was a lot of LOL. It made me realize, too, that my parents are concerned about my love life or maybe because I haven’t introduced someone “special” to them ever, they’re beginning to think I’m a… lesbian. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m just not.) Nevertheless, I love my dad. He keeps me amused in many ways. I bet you he’s asking around already for possible dates for me and expects me to get married when I’m 25. WINNAR.
—
In a related note, I just finished reading a book that I bought 2 months ago. I finished it in 1 day- GIRL TROUBLE by ALAN NAVARRA. It’s the kind of book that you’d read whilst drinking spiked Milo and smoking your borolights. In the foreword, readers are warned that it may not be pretty to feminists and uhm, nuns but I am one (feminist, not nun) and I wasn’t slightly fazed. Maybe because I watch Takashi Miike.
I really enjoyed the book and my friends who saw glimpses of the pages did, too. Even if you’re not a fan of fragmented fiction or random poetry or graphics in black and white, as long as you have a sense of humor and you acknowledge the fact that condoms do break during intercourse, you’d like Girl Trouble. It’s in Taglish. It’s the shit. Go buy it.
an excerpt from Girl Trouble by Alan Navarra pgs. 100-101
I can’t marry a rich girl because she only cleans up because she has issues.
I can’t marry a poor girl. She doesn’t need to clean because she don’t got stuff; I’ll have to buy it for her.
I can’t love a military or a rebel girl because they grown old killing a lot of people or die young fighting a war she does not understand.
I can’t love a free spirit, because she’ll leave.
Can’t marry a homebody because she’ll never leave.
Can’t love a health buff because she won’t stop buffing.
Can’t marry the fat one because she’ll never stop eating.
Can’t love the artist because she loves her art.
Can’t marry the university girl because she wants a university boy.
Can’t get down with the butcher because she stinks.
Can’t be with an achiever because she’s too square to try anything new.
The overachiever doesn’t have the time.
The underachiever just doesn’t.
The failure gets left behind.
The loyal one is a bore.
The honest ones are stone cold bitches.
Bonnie. Len. Dane. Gara. Berry. Shale. French. Melen. She. Che. Fe. Je. Me-Ann. Ness. Cora. Anch. Vita. Dita…
Mga putangina ninyong lahat, iniwan niyo ako.
…
I did a standing ovation after reading those lines, no stir.
PS: No, I don’t know Mr. Navarra and VP didn’t pay me to mention the book on my blog. Furthermore, don’t sue me. I did research on copyright and I quoted the book under fair use. 
Happy Holy Week.
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March 20th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
[...] Read the rest here… [...]
March 21st, 2008 at 4:16 am
LOL, you might actually have someone interested in you, you’re prolly just too dense to figure it out.
March 21st, 2008 at 6:27 am
Ha ha . I have been there done that four times over and probably be there again.
I would agree with Ade looks like there are a number of persons whi have er a genuine interest in you , excluding the cyber stalkers. Some are just to timid to act. When in doubt attack!! (^_^)Y
March 21st, 2008 at 11:56 am
@ Ade
Dense or in denial… you decide. LOL. No one has told me anything directly so I don’t want to assume, yanno.
@ Juned
Dear, but I don’t get it. Wait. I kinda do. I have a lot of issues. I don’t think it’s them… it’s me.
March 21st, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Well, my parents bug me about that too. I know that at 18, some of the girls my aged have had boyfriends already and some often change theirs like undies. D: I told them that I’m not even interested about getting committed because I can’t even take care of myself. XD I can’t also imagine myself being with a guy. But I do want to have a family when I’m at the right age. NBSB might mean very high standards or just plain ugly/snobbish…I always believed it has something to do with my standards. Hahaha.
March 21st, 2008 at 3:41 pm
ahahahaha!! thats so funny…. my parents have both given up the thought that i’ll have a boyfriend ever… my mom has been “urging” and i MEAN urging me since i was in gr 7… and my dad…. he didn’t like the idea of me dating til i was 18… he’s not past that point and tells everyone i won’t ever date anyone…. *sigh* good thing though… i can tell how awkward it’d be…
March 21st, 2008 at 3:47 pm
hahaha!
your dad is as cool as you are!
hmm, requirement mo ba na taga-Binondo? marami kong kilala dun! hahahaha!!
March 21st, 2008 at 7:22 pm
hi, i guess the earlier comments is correct… maybe he’s there somewhere and i believe you’re a great lady, no worries you’ll meet him soon.
Anyway i’m no net stalker it so happen i saw your vids and blog and can’t help to comment. maybe if i we’re your age i’ll make the effort to be one of your friend…you’re such a fun and interesting girl.
from nowhere…
March 23rd, 2008 at 6:09 am
dude, when your dad started the conversation, I just knew that he already had someone in mind for you
lolz
you think you need to interact with more dudes perhaps? at least get more exposure? for some strange reason, my female buds all seem to think i hold the solution to their relationship woes by having me pimp for them on- and off-cyberspace. always thought that finding someone is a numbers game of sorts. yanno?
kthxbai!
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm
@ Hyd
Dear, you’re 18, probably not even in college yet. I think you should tell your parents to worry when you’re already done with school and doing fine with your career coz then you have no other excuses anymore.
@ Lilone
thanks for dropping by my blog! ^^ maybe you can lie to them and tell them you’re dating someone even if you’re not to give them hope.
@ Ploplo
My dad’s not -that- cool but he’s a character, I tell yah! Di naman requirement… Kasi my dad’s office is at Binondo. baka lang may ma-reto saken na taga dun.
@ Edwin
even if you’re from… nowhere.
Hi! *waves* thanks for dropping by and even leaving a comment. Hope to see you around more often.
@ Renzie
ahluveeet!
believe me, i interact. and try to get to know as much people as i can… just that i have this whole “friends-zone” thing going (according to one guy) and i apparently give off this “omg! let’s be friends and have beer and do karaoke and shit like that!” aura that they tend to see me as that- a friend. but it works for me so i don’t complain.
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I didn’t mean someone who was his student in 1983! – For the lulz!
It’s already a good thing in there that the folks are already open with those kinds of stuff in your life. Implied but not stated, they’d say halfway “you know your limits” or stuff like that. And I’m not sure if I am making sense right now, thanks to prohibited drugs.
I think your dad has someone in mind for you. Or maybe nothing. O ewan. :d
Panahon na upang ipamalas sa buong mundo ang iyong natatanging kariktan na nagbibigay-liwanag sa kasibulan ng mundo. Ngayon na ang tamang panahon upang sila sy magsumamba sa ‘yong nagniningas na kagandahan.
March 25th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
“yoda to kring , use the force.” lol
March 25th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
at least your dad doesn’t go up to your friends and ask them to look for a boyfriend –or worse– a hubby for you.
my dad doesn’t but MY MUM DOES. dyahe.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
haha! parents! you just gotta love ‘em. they do mean well most of the time. i’ve had my share. heck my dad even bought this shirt that says waited too long to find the right man which hung over a skeleton. asar!!!!
March 28th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Parents. Haha
Reminds me of my mom. Lately she’s being nosy about my relationship/s but I just had to tell her I don’t have any
cos I’m already married to my study, thesis, structural crap, etc (but most of all because I’m not good-looking). And I can’t figure her out, one time she’s cool with my being single(she doesn’t want me to marry at an early age), another time she’s concerned about me fishing a girl because I’m growing old and my hair is growing too thin daw. Pucha. Quoting her, “baka di ka makapag-asawa kasi nakakalbo ka na” WTFAnyway, just dropped by. This really cheered me up, Kring. Good luck to us!
March 28th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Miss you, Sweet Pea.
(Ayan ha. Nagparamdam na. LOLz)
March 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
You better hurry. Your eggs are dying as I type this.
April 13th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
[...] funnysexy.wordpress.com – This one I want to meet. In the most Catholically (if there be such a word) legal way possible of course. And like shinji, she digs the whole “can’t marry…” sequence. [...]
October 16th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
its a lot of lolz…
it just happened i looked for a funny stuff thats why i stumbled in your blog…
i think theres no need to be hurry..right?
kahit na yong eggs are dying? lol!!!!!!!!!!!