There was once an Ugly Girl…

WARNING: This post is extremely long. And it has no pictures.

There was once a girl so ugly, she’d sometimes just look at herself in the mirror and cry. ‘A face only a mother could love’? Psssh! Screw that. Because even her own mom never thought she was pretty. Well, actually she used to be a cute kid until she turned seven and it was all downhill from there.

Her classmates would call her names like “tamby” (walis tambo), or “wooly” (steel wool), or “skurry” (Scary Spice) because of her dry, unruly mane, which was so fucked up, it was often mistaken for pubic hair. She’d often sit in a corner with furrowed eyebrows and wonder what the hell was wrong… until many many years later, she would discover the miracle we all call shampoo and conditioner.

Her teeth wasn’t the nicest in the world, too. She’s congenitally anodonsic and had a Madonna-gap between her upper front teeth. And so, in mid-puberty she wore braces and basically looked like Betty La Fea for 4 1/2 years.

This said ugly girl also had utmost hate for her complexion. Living in a society where people associate fair skin with beauty (uhm, hello German Moreno? Yachang?), her dark skin (DARK, mmmkay? Not olive. She’s no Jennifer Lopez) had always been a disadvantage. She had tried to many ways make it more… white and obviously failed miserably because one cannot bask under the sun and expect to be as translucent divine as the JaBoom twins. Also, she found out that leaving soap to dry or using industrial-level loofah to scrub skin with don’t work for shit.

Ah! Acne. Let’s not even go there. Hers was so bad, especially in college that a friend commented she had the map of the Philippines on her face. Hell, her pimples seemed to have a personal vendetta against her, they would grow on top of each other and rally on the cheek, forehead, chin and nose area which was pretty much the entire face. She had cursed her parents’ genes and student stress for all her scars and fugliness ’til it dawned on her that she was studying in Espana and we all know U-belt kids have the worst skin, much thanks to awesome Manila pollution.

Because of her desire to be an artista a model skinny and have Britney-Spears-circa-2001-abs, she tried losing weight even though she was just a 105 lbs. This she did by sticking her fingers inside her mouth and regurgitating her food. She had since accepted that she had bulimia and too bad for this girl as not only was she ugly as hell, she was mentally ill, too. I heard, however, that she doesn’t want to talk about her eating disorders.

Because of her looks (or lack thereof), the girl had to excel in other things so she wouldn’t just fade out in the crowd. She was active in drama, dance, school paper, production, Catholic org lol, fan clubs double lol and became an over-all extra-curricula activity whore while still managing to graduate with honors. According to her, she’d rather be ugly than be a nobody whose face and name you’d forget after 3 seconds.

The past year had been totally different for her though. Maybe she just matured or got tired of being fug but at least she had put an effort to not look like total crap. She started to use make-up and wear clothes that don’t look like they belong to her uncle. Because the adjectives ‘beautiful’ and ‘pretty’ were never used on her (until fairly recently), she was soooo baffled the first few times people looked at her in the streets that she gave them the “WTF YOU WANNA DIE, BITCH?” look in return. She said she wouldn’t really consider herself pretty until she looks like Leah Dizon but at least she doesn’t describe herself anymore as a “fakken ugly chic who’s a hybrid of Aiza Seguerra and Jet Li”.

I guess you could consider her an ugly duckling. She was never the pretty one but she’s at least catching up. Finally, guys have asked her out- something she never experienced while still studying. She’s sort of thankful though that she grew up ugly and had to develop a personality to make up for her face. LOL. She has worked with a tad too many bimbos to know how lucky she is.

Less than a year ago, this said girl opened a blog -funnysexy.ph- not because she thinks she’s funny or sexy but because she believes that “Funny is the New Sexy” and that she’s going to make-out with Satoshi Tsumabuki someday. It has nothing to do with the blog or its content at all, she just wants the world to know. She also wants you to know that humor and smarts are greater than D-cup breasts and cellulite-free thighs. That adage had tremendously helped her self-esteem, maybe it would help yours, too.

PS: This post was inspired by one of WawSabaw‘s entries. Read his blog. That kid is one hell of a lol.

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