Subscribe to my blog
|
|
WARNING: This post is extremely long. And it has no pictures.
There was once a girl so ugly, she’d sometimes just look at herself in the mirror and cry. ‘A face only a mother could love’? Psssh! Screw that. Because even her own mom never thought she was pretty. Well, actually she used to be a cute kid until she turned seven and it was all downhill from there.
Her classmates would call her names like “tamby” (walis tambo), or “wooly” (steel wool), or “skurry” (Scary Spice) because of her dry, unruly mane, which was so fucked up, it was often mistaken for pubic hair. She’d often sit in a corner with furrowed eyebrows and wonder what the hell was wrong… until many many years later, she would discover the miracle we all call shampoo and conditioner.
Her teeth wasn’t the nicest in the world, too. She’s congenitally anodonsic and had a Madonna-gap between her upper front teeth. And so, in mid-puberty she wore braces and basically looked like Betty La Fea for 4 1/2 years.
This said ugly girl also had utmost hate for her complexion. Living in a society where people associate fair skin with beauty (uhm, hello German Moreno? Yachang?), her dark skin (DARK, mmmkay? Not olive. She’s no Jennifer Lopez) had always been a disadvantage. She had tried to many ways make it more… white and obviously failed miserably because one cannot bask under the sun and expect to be as translucent divine as the JaBoom twins. Also, she found out that leaving soap to dry or using industrial-level loofah to scrub skin with don’t work for shit.
Ah! Acne. Let’s not even go there. Hers was so bad, especially in college that a friend commented she had the map of the Philippines on her face. Hell, her pimples seemed to have a personal vendetta against her, they would grow on top of each other and rally on the cheek, forehead, chin and nose area which was pretty much the entire face. She had cursed her parents’ genes and student stress for all her scars and fugliness ’til it dawned on her that she was studying in Espana and we all know U-belt kids have the worst skin, much thanks to awesome Manila pollution.
Because of her desire to be an artista a model skinny and have Britney-Spears-circa-2001-abs, she tried losing weight even though she was just a 105 lbs. This she did by sticking her fingers inside her mouth and regurgitating her food. She had since accepted that she had bulimia and too bad for this girl as not only was she ugly as hell, she was mentally ill, too. I heard, however, that she doesn’t want to talk about her eating disorders.
Because of her looks (or lack thereof), the girl had to excel in other things so she wouldn’t just fade out in the crowd. She was active in drama, dance, school paper, production, Catholic org lol, fan clubs double lol and became an over-all extra-curricula activity whore while still managing to graduate with honors. According to her, she’d rather be ugly than be a nobody whose face and name you’d forget after 3 seconds.
The past year had been totally different for her though. Maybe she just matured or got tired of being fug but at least she had put an effort to not look like total crap. She started to use make-up and wear clothes that don’t look like they belong to her uncle. Because the adjectives ‘beautiful’ and ‘pretty’ were never used on her (until fairly recently), she was soooo baffled the first few times people looked at her in the streets that she gave them the “WTF YOU WANNA DIE, BITCH?” look in return. She said she wouldn’t really consider herself pretty until she looks like Leah Dizon but at least she doesn’t describe herself anymore as a “fakken ugly chic who’s a hybrid of Aiza Seguerra and Jet Li”.
I guess you could consider her an ugly duckling. She was never the pretty one but she’s at least catching up. Finally, guys have asked her out- something she never experienced while still studying. She’s sort of thankful though that she grew up ugly and had to develop a personality to make up for her face. LOL. She has worked with a tad too many bimbos to know how lucky she is.
Less than a year ago, this said girl opened a blog -funnysexy.ph- not because she thinks she’s funny or sexy but because she believes that “Funny is the New Sexy” and that she’s going to make-out with Satoshi Tsumabuki someday. It has nothing to do with the blog or its content at all, she just wants the world to know. She also wants you to know that humor and smarts are greater than D-cup breasts and cellulite-free thighs. That adage had tremendously helped her self-esteem, maybe it would help yours, too.
PS: This post was inspired by one of WawSabaw’s entries. Read his blog. That kid is one hell of a lol.
|
Loading ...
|
|
May 17th, 2008 at 11:15 am
[...] Read the rest here… [...]
May 17th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
You aesthetically challenged? Hard to believe
May 17th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I think this girl’s a shapeshifter or something. LOL
This post is good – not really emotional; more of nostalgic and encouraging as well. Something that tells people that the misery and all aren’t for forever.
May 17th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Great post!
May 17th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
@ Juned
For most of my life, actually. I just came from a dinner with family friends and the titos and titas commented that I look soooo different now. Skinnier and fairer, at least. ^_^;;
@ UtakGago
Here’s to all the ugly ducklings out there! *apir*
Oh believe me. If you had seen me 3 years ago, you wouldnt even have given me a second look. And thanks!
@ Ria Jose
THANKS, DEAR!
May 18th, 2008 at 12:05 am
This is the most honest entry of yours ever. AHLAVET!
May 18th, 2008 at 1:11 am
Ilang beses ko na binalikan tong entry na toh. Out of words talaga ako… aw! Nalink ako ni funnysexy oh! Ahihi
Funny is definitely the new sexy! WOOHOO! This is a brave and daring post. I admire your guts.
May 18th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Show us some ugly pictures
May 18th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
You’re. Kidding. Right??
When I first laid eyes on you, I actually said to myself, ‘WTF you doin’ on the wrong side of the fence!?!’
May 18th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Grabe. Love this post.
And I saw your pics when you were still in.. college?.. I think.
You were not ugly.
You just look waaaayyy hotter now AND you’re super charming.
)
Uhm. Yeah. That just sounded so lesbo. LOL
May 18th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
@ Ade
Why, thank you so much Mr. Magnaye! ^_^
@ Hener
Pero hindi mo naman ako pinapansin sa blog mo… U_U Also, great job on your baby Bronson post! Really appreciate it, man.
@ Blogie
Oh I wish I was! Ahahahaha. Awwww… That was so sweet! Thanks, dear. I like offbeat events. I mean, mainstream shit like those organized by agencies with celebs and stuff are far too common for me. I’m a closet geek. ^_^;;;
@ Kai
You know I love you, right? But not in a lesbo kinda way LOL.
May 19th, 2008 at 10:59 am
There NEVER was an Ugly Girl, tru the eyes of the creature, all of us are beautiful…
pero grabe naman, sa ganda mo na yan, sasabihin mo pang pangit ka, ano pa bang gusto mong itsura maladyosa? joke hehehe!
May 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I can’t imagine the unpretty you that you talk about here. Or were you talking about somebody else. Dun dun duuuuun
May 19th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Oddly enough, it’s my first time to visit your blog. I’ve been meaning to, specially after we sorta met during the TMB Banana Gangbang Rock Festival but I’ve been a bad netizen lately. Anyway, I’m here and to echo what a lot of people have been saying, it’s difficult to imagine an unpretty you. More often than not I think, ugly ducklings grow up into ugly ducks, just like yours truly.
May 20th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Hmm… really don’t know what to say, why the heck were you regurgitating food despite being skinny? And what do you mean skinnier if you were bulimic before? Help! I was trying to take down notes for when I turn into that swan :p
Btw, fans club seriously?
May 20th, 2008 at 12:26 am
I can see how detailed your “ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan” story is. May pagka-FunnySexy parin yung post for a bit, pero with how up-close-and-personal this post is overall… I can say that this is my favorite post of yours so far.
On second thought, I can’t imagine you being an “ugly duckling”. The reason is that you’re so beautiful. No flowery statements can best describe how beautiful you are, actually.
May 20th, 2008 at 1:11 am
Because of her looks (or lack thereof), the girl had to excel in other things so she wouldn’t just fade out in the crowd. She was active in drama, dance, school paper, production, Catholic org lol, fan clubs double lol and became an over-all extra-curricula activity whore while still managing to graduate with honors. According to her, she’d rather be ugly than be a nobody whose face and name you’d forget after 3 seconds.
Wow. I did the same thing way back in college (well, almost LOL). I was active in the school dance troupe and leadership trainings so I graduated with a leadership award.
In a way, i can relate to this post. I want to write an entry that is a bit similar to this, but i’m not that brave -yet.
May 20th, 2008 at 1:55 am
@ Kulot
Hindi naman. LOL. How do I say it ba? I DIDNT LOOK LIKE THIS BEFORE! X__x Though I don’t mind looking like a dyosa.
@ Fritz
Talking about me, honey… The ugly duckling me who was so in love with the backstreet boys.
@ Peter Juan
Why, hello there! Welcome to my blog. Actually, what I realized was that the pretty kids mostly end up screwed up in the head and too bad for them when they turn bad-looking eventually coz they dont have the looks to back them up. >_<
@ Philos
That’s why it’s a psychological disorder. You don’t think you’re skinny or pretty enough. Also, yes. Fans clubs. For a lot of shit. I was such a huge F4 fan that I attended gatherings every single week. And I was a founding member of the Philippine fan club of the biggest Korean boyband. Pwnd? I thought so… LOL.
@ The Deranged Writer
OMG. I have no words… Thank you. but you have to see me without make-up before I go out of the house!
@ Micamyx
Awww… I’m glad my readers can relate to my posts somehow. I’d be looking forward to your entry.
May 20th, 2008 at 2:35 am
I’ve been reading your blog and you are funnysexy. People who say you are ugly, must be blind.
May 20th, 2008 at 7:15 am
wow, ganun naman pala e. mukhang nagugustuhan na kita hehehe!
May 21st, 2008 at 12:51 am
ahhh Kulot, sorry ha excuse me lang padaan lang! medyo nakaharang ka eh!!!! TUMABI KA!!! AKO NAUNA SA PILA!!!!!!!!
May 21st, 2008 at 7:30 am
ay ganun ba may pila ba? asan ang pila anong numero ka na ba umleo23, saan kukuha ng numero?
May 21st, 2008 at 9:13 am
hindi ko alam kung pang ilan ako sa Pila! Pero sure ako na nauna ako sayo!!!
bwahaha!
Sa tingin ko, karamihan naman sa atin is ganito rin ang nangyare, (i mean almost the same). Ako noon payatot na mukhang may sakit, tapos mukhang may baces ung upper teeth ko dahil lahat may sira at kulay itim na, tapos ginalis ako nung bata rin ako…
Madalas when we get old tsaka lang tayo nagiging concern sa itsura natin, we never thought of kailangan pala ganito-ganyan when we were still young…
May 21st, 2008 at 9:14 am
typo *braces* yun…
May 26th, 2008 at 2:14 am
HOAX!!!
June 16th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Need to catch up w/ you girl…
As usual, my sempai is as funny as ever XD
Interesting read as always
Dapat meron kang drama series kahit sa Maalaala mo kaya (meron pa ba non? XD)
catching up w/ your posts XD
+_+
- kilala mo na ko?