• Posted by funnysexy
  • 03 Aug 2008

I am a very non-domisticated girl, just want to make that clear. I know more names of Japanese gay AV stars than I do household chores. Sad, really. But I won’t get into details anymore so as not to further embarrass myself but yeah, I’m not anywhere near settling down.

However, I’m currently liking a guy. Like really. Yiheeeeeeee! *nudge nudge* (yes, I just teased my own self because I’m matured like that) and I find my self wanting to learn how to cook so I can feed him with my awesome Filipino dishes and he’d be like “OMG KRING YOU ARE AN AWESOME GIRL!”. Yes, Flip food specifically because they don’t really have that where he lives.

So far, I only know how to cook 3 dishes, (besides your usual sunny side up, hot dog and other fried stuff) – RICE, YEMA and TUNA PESTO PASTA. Are rice and yema even considered “dishes”? Anyway few months ago I learned how to cook Adobong Manok, not from this guy. I asked my mom how to do it because I felt bad that some American dude who can’t even pronounce “manok” properly knows how to cook our national dish better than I do.


not the guy I like but if you know this man, please tell him I’d love to have cooking lessons with him. one-on-one.

But I have a problem though. ME + KITCHEN = DISASTER. I remember I was cooking the tuna pesto thing one time and instead of using olive oil, I poured soybean oil. You know, the stuff the chefs use when they want to look kick-ass and shit and make their pans go fire-y? And so, the poor, undomisticated kid that I was pretty much freaked out and put my pan under running water. BIG MISTAKE. The flame got bigger and almost burnt the cabinets above our sink.

If I don’t go burning the house down, I normally cut myself, peeling fruits or just opening cans. I win at life, okay?

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I never liked Home Economics classes nor did I watch cooking shows growing up. I can’t differentiate a skillet from a chopping board and I honestly thought, until recently that coriander is some sort of an amphibian. Hell, I can even count the number of times I’ve worn an apron in my life! But I don’t know why all of a sudden I want to learn how to cook. Maybe ‘coz on Idol, I rooted for David Cook? Why am I so fakken corny? Who are you?

So guys, if you have any recipes you can share with me, I’d really appreciate them. I know I can find many online but it’s not… personal. X_x I’d ask my mom, too and hope that she won’t get frustrated with me when I unevenly cut the potatoes for sisig. Wait, you don’t put potatoes in sisig. Fail.

 
 

11 Responses to “Kitchen Facts: I Know Nothing About It”

  1. philos Says:

    Hmm… go for the really simple stuff first, stir fried is a good idea, just a few drops of oil… looks excellent din. Me, I just kept trying, even when I burned stuff, cooked unwashed lomi (really bitter I’m telling you) and had to throw away lots of good ingredients because I cooked it wrong–but see I learned, even won myself a cooking contest :p

  2. Ade Says:

    Well, just to make you feel better, I tried to cook a arroz ala Cubana once. I came up with a burger. Don’t ask.

  3. ceemee Says:

    hey! your blog is fascinating and funny. I like it. well, first, know the basics: like when stir frying, gisa first the garlic then the onion, then the ones that take longer to cook go in first while vegetables mostly go last. that kind of stuff, although I myself am a neophyte at cooking. my hubby is better at that than I am! He he!

  4. joyfulchicken Says:

    @philos: Getting 2nd place in a contest with 3 contestants isn’t exactly winning.

  5. funnysexy Says:

    @ Philos
    WON? COOKING? CONTEST? WUT? I think I’d learn how to cook fried rice. Yes, sinangag is good. And champorado. And other awesome breakfasts!! Thanks for the advice btw

    @ Ade
    Why am I not surprised, Mr. Magnaye? :P

    @ Ceemee
    Thank you! Hope to see you around more often!!

    @Joyfulchicken
    inoeryt

  6. Kai Says:

    i can teach you how to cook chicken curry and “lemon chicken” (or watchamacallit). try to buy simple recipe books in powerbooks. just follow the instructions and ask your mom for help so you won’t burn down the house :)

  7. philos Says:

    There you go, your future man will have breakfast in bed to look forward to! And while you’re at fried rice, might as well beef up your repertoire and add Yang Chow to the mix. All you’d need are bits of meat, shrimp if you have ‘em, green peas, and a bit of scrambled egg–just don’t put hotdog, it ruins the feel hehe… Have fun!

    (I’m not sure if I’m allowed to respond to JC right there, we do this all the time at CM, so I’ll risk it.)
    @JC: That’s why I said to start simple. :p

  8. Poyt Says:

    Dude, I can’t cook rin to save my life! LOL! All I know is rice and pancit canton!

  9. Coy Says:

    PANCIT CANTON FTW!!!!

  10. billycoy Says:

    You badly need a gastrosexual guy. That’s a type of guy who’ll seduce you with cooking…

    or maybe you can take out the gastro thingie and have the sexual guy instead. :D

  11. Kevin Says:

    Tagalog na lang ha: Binababad ko yung i-aadobo kong baboy/manok sa toyo at suka. Kung matamis ang trip mo, try mong maglagay ng Sprite (believe me, it works). Kung maalat-alat or medyo tangy, pagkatapos mong palambutin yung manok/baboy, iprito mo siya sa bawang (at ihiwalay mo yung pinagpakuluan/sabaw). Then add the sauce to the fried pork/chicken and put oyster sauce for a thicker consistency.

    And oh, that guy in the pic looks gay. Kthnxbai. LOL

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