Why Japan Pwnz the World (part 2)

It’s been almost two years since I posted the part 1 of “Why Japan Pwnz the World”. Two effing years. Wow. Okay, I admit. I haven’t been an otakette as much lately and yes, I do miss my Shokura and Haado Gei. I haven’t attended any of those anime cons in a while and I have no idea who’s topping the Oricon anymore. And so to get me back in the game, I present to you the part 2 of this “series” just to remind everyone, myself included, that Japan is made of pure, WTF-ish awesome.

1. Used Underwear Vending Machines

The practice was apparently banned back in ’93 but many Japanese can attest that they still see them around- vending machines of used panties supposedly worn by schoolgirls. I’m pretty sure, however, that 90% of those undies were really used by smelly, fat men who obviously run the business. To some countries, even just the idea or thought may already be illegal but that’s Japan for yah!

Pinku! Pinku, onegaishimasu! Doumo. Lolz.

These Japanese, why do they have vendos for everything? I honestly won’t be surprised if someday they’d come up with vendos for iunno, visas, random body organs or even boyfriends! Idol-looking boyfriends! Yes. I’d totally quit my job and go there just to get myself some of that.

2. Johnny’s Entertainment

Johnny’s Entertainment is perhaps the biggest talent agency in Japan (solely for boys), which was started by the Godfather himself, Johnny Kitagawa. He probably owns half the entire Japanese entertainment industry because seriously, his franchise is so huge, I don’t think the Japanese even remember a time when there were no Jannizu (or what the talents from J’ Ent are called).

These boys, they win at life. Srsly. NEWS from 2004, when there were still 8 of them. ;_; Also, they’re normally more happy and colorful.

Sure, they’re a mostly a bunch of skinny, twink-looking guys wearing flamboyant, feathered and sequined clothes who dance in their rollerskates and do ghei pirouettes while hanging on a rope 30 feet off the ground but believe me, they are so much crack and love, they’ll make your hearts and ovaries burst. And dare I say that they are the reason why other Asian boybands even exist and please, bitch, don’t even debate with me on this.

Believe it or not, they’re a boyband. Kanjani 8 aka the Eito Rangers!

Seriously, Johnny’s is the reason why I’m even a Japanophile. I love love love them all, though NEWS is my ichiban but WTF I’M TELLING YOU I’M TOTEZ MARRYING NINOMIYA KAZUNARI!!! If you’re still confused as to who they are and why the are awesome, well, there’s google. And youtube.

LOVE, CRACK, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.

3. Cosplay

Costume play, I believe, is one of the greatest things ever “invented” in recent history and we have the awesome Japanese kids to thank for it. I like bishies so I enjoy ogling pretty guys in women’s clothing shuddup. I mean, if a group of teenagers decided back in the day to dress up as random cartoon/comic book characters (think: Pong Pagong or Kaptain Barbel) and hang-out in the streets of Manila, I’m telling you they’d be on TV Patrol or worse, explaining themselves to ‘tsip’ in the presinto! But in Chepen, it became a phenomemon.

I’d tap that. No, both of them. At the same time. Haha!

I’m not sure if the Japanese society is just generally tolerant but for cosplay to even be a subculture and eventually influence me geeks from other countries enthusiasts the world over, man, these Japs get my applause and my fangirling squee, too!

Who would’ve thought Kenshin could be so… feminine!

4. Guys with Shaved Eyebrows

I don’t know of any other country where guys with virtually no more shaved eyebrows can walk around and people wouldn’t think they’re weird and/or are drag queens at night. Here in the Philippines, some guys groom their eyebrows and I think it’s cool, but if say, my cameraman comes to the set with shaped almost-linear brows like Beverly Salviejo’s, well, I wouldn’t know how to react, except maybe to tilt my head to the side and twitch my eye.

You want manbrows? I give you…

Demmet! How do those Japs pull ‘em off and why do they look hot with those!?!

5. Engrish

I know, I know. Almost all non-English speaking countries have their own version of the Engrish but I still find the Japanese’s a little more… amusing.

No, thanks. I’m fine with my cologne…

Used panties and now used tissue? Great!

If I want my eyes removed, I’d have a doctor do it.

I think a lot of men would like to join that party.

I mean, really. Need I explain more? (all photos courtesy of Engrish.com!)

And here’s more Engrish lolz from 2 of the Janniz! No shit, you gotta watch it!

Whew! That was a rather looong post but I hope you enjoyed it! It was good for me, too as it made me realize again why it was worth spending all those time and money on all those dvd’s, magazines and especially fangirling my boys!

And if there’s anyone out there who’d like to invite me to Japan all expense paid, just leave a message here and we’ll schedule our trip. And yeah, here’s a meccha *tackleglomp* just for you! =^_^=

Related posts: