LOL-able Quotes

If you haven’t figured it out by now, well, I am surrounded by people on crack. Crack, as in you know… prohibited drugs. Yes, many of my friends replace butter with rugby, and some even use herion as moisturizer. I’ve been wanting to write about this since forever. You know, compile random quotes and statements from family and friends that were said to, for or about me. They’re not only quotable, they’re also… LOL-able. (*Some names were changed to protect identities. WTF.)

Are you ready? Let’s go!

Kring: “Ang taba ko, gusto ko pang pumayat…” (I’m fat. I wanna get skinny.)
Mommy: “‘Wag. D’yan namatay si Karen Carpenter.” (Don’t. That’s how Karen Carpenter died.)

- My mom, on dieting and weight loss. I actually stopped walking and slowly looked at her from my side. It was indeed surreal.

“Dude, kung hindi ka workaholic, ano kami, bum?!” (If you’re not workaholic, what are we, a bunch of bums?)

- Selda de Leon, one of my bestest friends, on my claim that I am not workaholic. I really am not, I swear. I’m not! WTF are you looking at?

“Kring, you’re not an ugly duckling… you’re just ug… a duckling.”

- Wil Darlucio, a G. Ganger. His comment on our elementary photos on facebook, WHICH YOU WILL NEVER EVER GET TO SEE. Also, don’t mind him. He just got issues. Haha!

“Pakasalan mo achievements mo!” (Marry your achievements, then!)

- AB Genuino, friend from grade/high school, on the fact that I don’t care much about love life when I’m doing well, career-wise. To say that I was muddafakken pwned is an understatement.

“Sorry, I love you already without your permission.”

- *Andrew da Silva, not his real name. Yes, this statement was definitely lol-worthy, don’t you think? I flailed irl. But really, my heart almost jumped out of my chest.

“Tanginang boobs ‘yan! Batang lalaki ka ba?” (What the fuck is with your boobs? Are you a young boy?)

- Mishi Camaya, my other Nana, when she saw me half-naked in the spa. I felt like I should be offended but nah, I don’t anymore. Keira Knightley is flast-chested, too, you know.

“Kring, ang pangalan mo ay adjective. At verb. Bakit ka ba hindi maging Kring? Paki-Kring naman nito! ‘Diba? Bagay!” (Kring, you’re name’s actually an adjective. And a verb. Why can’t you be more Kring? Can you please kring this? See, it makes sense!)

- *Luanne Baldonado, college classmate, on the weirdness of my name.

“Kring who?”

- *Random Fangirl, WHO DIDN’T KNOW WHO I WAS KTHNX (Not like I expected her to and please don’t think I’m THAT conceited. It’s just that I’ve been in front of them, hosting for 2 hours already.)

“What the fuck are you wearing?! People will think you’re my maid…”

- The boss. I’m pretty sure he had said a million more LOLerskater things to me but this is the most recent that I can remember. He forced me to workout and because I don’t have gym clothes or anything, I came in my ‘pambahay’.

“Can you, uhm, spread your legs?”

- *Donie Cesar, photographer. Sorry, I just… couldn’t do it. Yet.

“Hindi ka naman mahirap mahalin eh…” (It’s not that hard to love you.)

- *Tristan Aguinaldo, a guy I’ve dated. It was so sweet and flattering and all but… I almost spit out my iced tea when he mentioned that.

“Not to dampen your success or anything but… mukha kang bakla! *insert roflmao YM emoticon here*” (You look like a tranny!)

- Karen Capco, a college barkada, on how I looked, hosting the YES! Magazine red carpet live coverage. I’d like to believe that she just hates the fact that I got to hug Enchong Dee to piss her off. Bwahahahaha!

“Tangina photographer lang ako, hindi ako diyos.” (Fuck that shit, I’m just a photographer, not god.)

- P0yt Salazar, a Palawan Ganger and one of my closest friends. The statement wasn’t actually directed towards me but I JUST HAD TO INCLUDE IT FOR ITS PURE AWESOME. This was her reply when someone commented that he looked unflattering in the shots that she took. Wew!

“Pag nakita kita diyan sa The Buzz, di mo na ko makaka-usap ulit.” (If I ever see you on The Buzz, I’ll never talk to you again.”

- My dad, when I told him that I really just want to be an artista. He has since become more supportive of my superstardom dreams.

LOL. I had to end it with my dad’s because as we all know, he pwns our faces. I hope you enjoyed and if you have other LOL-worthy quotes, I hope you can share it with us (I mean, me and my 3 readers!)

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