Creepy Persistent Suitor

This was an incident that happened three years ago, around the 3rd quarter of ’08. I have long forgotten about it, buried it in my past and moved on with my life. However, as the family was doing some spring cleaning earlier today, I uncovered something in the bodega (storeroom) – an old wall clock with something written on it. I knew it was a sign. I just had to write about it.

To you, to the guy who will be the “central character” of this story, please do not think I have a grudge against you or that I wanna destroy your reputation. Trust me, NO. If I did, I would’ve published this right after it happened. I will never reveal your identity nor give clues as to who you are. I have no emotional excess baggage from this experience and I’ll just be sharing facts. Don’t be hatin’ and plz no dramarzz (also, if you comment, then they’ll find out who you are)!

And to my readers, well, this might get me in trouble but I hope you learn a thing or two from my mistakes it. It’s gonna be a long but crack-filled ride so buckle up.

~~~

2008 was a really hazy and crazy year for me. Almost every night after work, I’d go out to watch a movie or have dinner with friends or drink until I get shit-faced wasted. I wasn’t in a relationship then so I went out and hung out with different people – guys and girls, young and old alike. Some I considered dates, the others, not at all.

2008: Crazy times! For the record, I NEVER DID DRUGS. And that’s not the creepy guy.

Around July 2008, I met this guy. Let’s call him “Wolowitz” (excuse The Big Bang Theory reference). Wolowitz was a pretty decent guy. He had friends, he had skills, he was from a good university and he had a job that allowed him to interact with different people. On that first night, I already knew that he had a thing for me. No, I wasn’t just assuming. While we were talking, he took a photo of me with his phone and immediately made it his wallpaper, replacing Alodia’s image, if my memory serves me right.

[wp-like-locker]I should have taken that as a bad sign but hey, I was young and stupid. Plus, nobody warned me about him. I just later learned about his escapades with other girls, who also weren’t very amused by his ways. Yes, I personally got to talk to a couple of them, so no, I wasn’t being paranoid.[/wp-like-locker]

Okay, in my defense, we had dinner twice. And a movie. Not a big deal for me at that time since I literally used to have dinner with different people at least three times a week. The first time we hung out was okay but on the second time please don’t ask me why there was a 2nd time, when we were in the cinema, Wolowitz leaned over and asked me, “is it okay if I hold your hand?”. I just shook my head and politely declined though deep inside I was screaming WHAT THE FUCK OF COURSE NOT!!! I texted him soon as I got home that it’s best if we do not you know, go out anymore.

I really wasn’t good at rejecting people and to be fair, I wanted to be nice and diplomatic to Wolowitz. Everything should have ended that night but noooo… he still had to pursue, which resulted to three more rejections. Yes, I dumped him a total of four times. This was confirmed by my chat logs with friends. LOL persistent much?

And you know eeet~

I appreciated his gestures at first until he became really annoying, not to mention, a drama queen. Heck, he was even bitchin’ on my friends! I endured his crazy antics before you know, he got my friends involved and that’s when shit hit the fan. This happened after I turned him down for the third time.

One weekday, a female friend, “Donna” called me up and said that Wolowitz has been asking her where I worked. “Should I tell him?! He’s been texting since last night! He said he wants to give you something.” Ugh. I asked her NEVER to give my office address. I really haven’t been talking to him at this point. Two days or so later, she texted me again and said that Wolowitz was asking where my studio was. He found out I was in a shoot through my status update. OMG. I freaked out. I asked my best friend what I should reply and he said, “Tell him you’re in Tuguegarao and if he wants to meet you, you’ll be waiting for him by the mango tree where the white cow is resting.” That’s what I asked Donna to forward to Wolowitz and guess what his reply was: “Okay, next time then.” OH MY GEEZ.

During this time, he was bugging another friend, too, to help him get to me. As respect, my friend, “Philip” never told him my whereabouts until one afternoon, I received a call from him. “Kring, please. Can you just end everything with him? He’s been bugging me non-stop because he wants to give you something or whatever! He’s so annoying. Please, just do it?” Awww.. I felt so bad for my friend and of course, I really wanted to get it done and over with as well. We devised a plan – that we’ll meet up at Shang for dinner, he’ll tell Wolowitz where we are, and the guy could do his thing. Up until now, Wolowitz never knew I was in it all along.

So there we were at Fish & Co, enjoying our dinner, which I have to add, Philip even paid for (thanks, love!). We stalled for a while and enjoyed our food and at around 9pm, he finally texted Wolowitz that he could go in. We totally were not prepared for what happened next.

I saw Wolowitz coming in from the other door, wearing his university jacket. Without saying a word, he stood by our table and started holding up one by one about a dozenflash cards, on which he wrote his message. YES. It was totally ripped off of Love Actually, except that the scene in the movie touched me, whereas what he did was more… shocking.

Not quite as sweet. No, not even close. -click to watch the scene-

And you know what the punchline was? Even before he was done, the guard came over and tried to make him stop.

Guard: Sir, bawal mag-solicit dito (solicitation is not allowed here).
Wolowitz: Hindi ako nagso-solicit (I’m not soliciting).
Guard: Pero nagka-kalat kayo eh (but you’re littering).
Wolowitz: Pupulutin ko ‘yan mamaya (I’ll pick those up later).

Oh, Manong Guard. You totally ruined the moment for him! By this time, everyone in the restaurant was staring at us. The customers were equally as shocked and the staff came over to our table to handle the situation. His message was something like “I know our time was short yadda yadda but I love you yadda yadda Im sorry yadda.” I don’t even remember anymore. But wait! He wasn’t done yet. Out of nowhere, he pulled out a muddaeffin’ wall clock and from 9pm, he turned the hands back to 6pm, which was supposed to mean “if only I could turn back time…” I really wish I was kidding.

The very clock that he gave me. He actually wrote his name there somewhere.

He put the clock on our table, picked up his flash cards and quietly walked away. Phillip asked him if he would still “talk” to me but apparently, that was never part of his plan. Just like that, he left the restaurant. A staff came over to me and asked if I was okay. I just smiled and nodded and Philip told him Wolowitz was my ‘suitor’. She was like “Ahhhhhh… I see *smiles*”

“I’m melting in a puddle of shame and embarrassment. Can the floor just swallow me now?“, said Philip.“What the fuck just happened?!” were my first words. We were genuinely taken aback by what happened and he even apologized to me, saying that had he known that’s what Wolowitz planned to do, he wouldn’t have agreed to be a part of it. But I love my friend, he had nothing to do with it. I think he even told Wolowitz off for being inconsiderate. We’ve never been back to that resto ever since.

You know what the punchline of all punchlines was? Weeks prior, he told me that the sweetest thing he has done to someone was 1) do the flash cards thing from Love Actually and 2) do the turn back time thing from a Korean movie that he has watched. Oh, and he did that to two different girls on different occasions. Wow. I must be special.

That was the last straw and that ended everything. Actually, many other “incidents” happened but I couldn’t include them here as that would give-away his identity. He had apologized to me and my friends and we’ve all moved on. We see each other once in a while in gatherings so we’re civil. And though I cringe every time I think about this incident, I’m just happy that it happened and I learned from it. Plus, it’s quite an entertaining story to tell, don’t you think?

ps: If you know who he is, preaze to not reveal. ^^;;

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