Funny Sexy | Kring Elenzano | Funny is the new sexy | Director|Producer|Actress|Host|Writer|Vlogger » Philippines

Advertising Black Swan Rants

Kring Elenzano — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 02:18:23 +0000

This has got to be one of the most brilliant local memes ever. Thing is, if you’ve never worked in an advertising agency or a production company, you’ll never get this. If you are a freelancer or “the boss” (or you don’t speak Tagalog), you won’t get it either. These pretty much sum up what people in agencies (specifically the creatives) have to go through on a daily basis. I didn’t work in an ad agency but it felt like I did. I was laughing soooo much reading all the memes and though I’m a year late, I’d still like to share with you my favorites! Props to the creator of this and the contributors of all the funny shit. You guys made my day!

This hits home soooo bad! Bwahahahaha! “Viral” is soooo 2009!

[click to enlarge] Calling the attention of everyone that I’ve worked with in the last 6 years. Sounds familiar?

Everything you ever learned in media, communication and finer arts school will be thrown out the window.

And last but not the least…

I shit my pants from laughing!

Applause and cheers to the creator and the contributors! Please check this out for more Advertising Black Swan Rants!

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Cybercrime Law or Cybercrime LOL?

Kring Elenzano — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 07:55:02 +0000

I won’t pretend like I know a lot about the law. I have read the Cybercrime Prevention Act of 2012 and I must admit, a lot of it sounds like Russian slang to me. Thankfully, there are lawyers and members of the academe and the internet community who would be more than happy to simplify it. Check this out. And this. If you want the whole picture, InterAksyon has a whole page for that.

Many people have said their piece so instead of giving you just my opinion regarding this matter, how about we throw some questions to the Universe?

1. Why the rush, government officials? I mean, aren’t there more important laws to be passed (laws which won’t make people go batshit crazy) like the RH Bill, the Freedom of Information Act or the Sin Tax Bill? Does someone have LBM and needs to go to the toilet that bad?

2. Really, Ms. Cayetano? I don’t even. I ask all the students out there – if you failed the exam because you only read one chapter, you think your professor would have pity on you if you beg for a reconsideration?

3. So it’s okay for people to burn effigies during rallies (while calling government officials “thieves”, “murderers” and “lying mother effers”) but you’re more likely to go to jail if “like” someone’s “libelous” status on Facebook?

Even Jackie Chan is confuzzled.

5. So if you’re from Timbuktu and you said something “libelous” on Twitter against a Filipino, you technically won’t be liable? What if you’re a Filipino living in Sweden? Can the government do something to you?

6. Accoding to Tito Sotto in a n interview with DZMM, “Moralidad ang issue dito, e, kaya nga gusto nating bantayan ang cyberspace, kasi yung moralidad ng mga kabataan natin, nababastos na, e. Nabababoy na.”

Whose morality, Mr. Senator? What might be immoral to you may be morally okay to other people. It is “immoral” to have multiple wives yet many officials in the government have more than one family and dozens of mistresses. It is ” immoral” in other cultures for women to be walking around on stage wearing nothing but a bikini yet noontime shows allow that here. Why be scared of blogs and condoms when you tolerate poverty and corruption?

7. Whoah! Is that even allowed? When you sign a contract, no party can alter the content without the knowledge of everyone. Heck, you can sue people for that! Who did this, Mr. Marcos and what do you plan to do to that person?

8. Dear Mr. President, do you think you made your parents proud? ~~I do not regret not voting for you.~~

I believe that some parts of this act makes sense and revisions are more important than junking it all completely. Then again, I go back to my first question. Loperamide, anyone? I don’t know if I’ll ever know the answers to these questions but let me leave you guys with this:

I can take the poverty, the very backward system, heck I can even take hypocritical, corrupt politicians (it’s sad, I know…) but I can never accept the suppression of the freedom of expression. I have high hopes for this country and never considered migrating. Until this Cybercrime Law came along. Jimmy, be ready.

ps: Today at around 1:00pm, a group of bloggers and social media activists has filed a petition before the Supreme Court to nullify assailed provisions of Republic Act No. 10175. Accoding to them, “We are suing the President of the Philippines, among others, because we believe he owns command responsibility for enacting a law that is prejudicial to the civil liberties of Filipinos.”

How about you, what are your thoughts or questions about this law?

Really, BDO? Really?

Kring Elenzano — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 17:14:37 +0000

Last Friday, I accompanied my boyfriend, Jimmy to BDO so he could open a new savings account. He had a BPI Family Bank account before but hasn’t used it since he moved back to Korea and we decided to open in BDO since it’s much more accessible. The Robinsons Malate branch is just walking distance from the shop so we went there. Let it be known, too that I also have a BDO account in another branch.

The New Account Desk person asked us for the IDs and Jimmy gave his Passport and Driver’s License. She looked at them for a long time and if my hunch was right, even analyzed it “suspiciously”. She asked if he’s working and also asked for his ACR or Alien Certificate of Registration, which of course he also brought with him. I asked if there was anything wrong because she was just staring at the IDs and she replied,

“Sorry, we do not accept signatures with non-English characters.”

This was seriously my face after she said that.

“What do you mean?”, I asked, rather confused.

“We do not have the technology to verify signatures if it’s not based on his English name.”

“So, what do we have to do?”

“Submit new IDs with another signature.”, she said with a poker face, which annoyed me even more. Just so you know, up until this point, she has never smiled at us nor showed any sign of positive emotion.

I could not believe it. I was more shocked than upset because really, BDO? Really? Let us check again what your requirements are for opening a new savings account:

Two (2) valid ID’s with your name, picture and signature.

Valid IDs: Passport, Driver’s license, PRC ID, NBI clearance, Police clearance, Postal ID, Voter’s ID, Barangay certification, GSIS e-Card, SSS ID, Philhealth card, Senior Citizen Card, OWWA ID, OFW ID, Seaman’s Book, Alien Certification of Registration/Immigrant Certificate of Registration, and other Government office IDs

Two (2) Photocopies of your valid IDs

One (1) copy 1 x 1 recent ID picture

Billing Statement and 2 photocopies in order to verify your address. Billing statement can be Electric bill, Telephone bill, Water bill, Credit Card bill, Cellphone bill etc.

It did not state there at all that the person’s signature must be based on his or her English names and have alphabet characters. What if a Chinese millionaire businessman’s signature is his Chinese character name, would you turn him down? How about Arabic? Thai? It does not even add up! Most signatures are made up of lines, dots and weird shit anyway! How do you even know those are alphabet characters and not random scribbles??? That’s rather discriminatory, BDO!

What even pisses Jimmy off is that he could have a different signature (perhaps something that the BDO lady would deem more “signature-ish”) but the Bureau of Immigration, LTO and other government agencies won’t allow him unless it’s the same one that’s on his passport.

Honestly, I’d let this pass if she was more compassionate, apologetic or even just smiled once. Just once! But yeah, that was some really stupid and bad service. When I posted about this on Facebook, many other people have commented about their bad experience about the bank but I won’t share that anymore since that has nothing to do with what we’ve experienced.

We find ways… to piss people off.
- photo courtesy of checkcebu.com -

I’d still be keeping my account but Jimmy won’t be opening an account there anytime soon (especially at the Robinsons Malate branch). I’m sharing this with you so other people, especially those with signatures that are based on their real, non-English name would be aware that BDO doesn’t want them in their bank. I wonder what the management thinks about this and why they really have this prejudicial rule.